Grieving comes in all forms and affects people from all walks of life in different ways. The following videos are of grieving parents who have suffered the ultimate pain.
The videos below are very different and show the divergent ways humans cope with stress, sadness, and confusion.
Humintell wants to know your thoughts!
The following 2 minute video opens and ends with Rusty Yates, Andrea Yates’ husband, commenting on the horrific events that changed his life forever.
[quicktime]https://www.humintell.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Russell-Yates-60min-Grief-vid1.mov[/quicktime]
A more recent and emotional video from Joseph Russell:
[quicktime]https://www.humintell.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/JoesephRussell-Lopez-Case-Grief-Clip.mov[/quicktime]
I interpret Rystys headshakes as headshakes of disbelief. I get the feeling that he really seem to have a hard time understanding what happened. Almost like experience that unreal “fantasy/am i dreaming” like feeling that some people report when something terrible has happened. I also get the feeling that he is trying to be more understanding about his wifes mental illness than he is.
Right in the begining when Rysty first comes in to the picture and he says “loves the children” his lips thighten. Could that be controled anger?
Also, when he says “no,no,no that was because her mind was sick” It looks loke he shows contempt?
The second video is harder. I have a hard time hearing what Joseph is saying. But he seem to be someone that is embarassed to cry. I base that on the fact that he in te begining first trying to compose himself. He first closes his eyes, then you can see that he is closing them harder(i dont know how to explain it better). Could that be frustraton/anger toward him self that he could not hold it back? Then he walks away.
Like Rysty there seem to be anger and contempt. It almost sounds like he is about to say the F-word but they cut away. Its when he says “you aint doing nothing but sitting on the computer you F…(cut).
In the still photograph, the smiles of the parents arent genuine, more of a’forced smile’ for the camera. Notice the difference between their smiles and a duchenne (geniune) smile. Rusty then purses his lips as he indicates ‘she loved her children’.. controlled anger/possible sadness..
In relation to the second video Joseph is controlling his emotions and at the point of saying ‘you aint doing nothing but sitting on the computer’ he purses his lips indicating controlled possible anger. It is very easie to see what we think we should see in this type of sitluation, however, there are no obvious signs of contempt in either video.
Markus – I think that you make some good points. Rusty seems to be in suspended disbelief of his wife’s actions. This is seen in the interview when he constantly shakes his head “no” and stutters several times. In fact, when the interviewer says “but she did” (referring to Angela killing her own children), he actually says “no”.
His lip tightening at the beginning is most likely an expression of control (http://www.humintell.com/2010/07/lie-to-me-what-expression-is-this/) rather than anger.
We did not see any blatantly obvious contempt signs in his interview.
Roger – You are correct that in Joseph’s video he seems to be controlling his emotions as well. This is until the end of the clip where you see tears in his eyes and his voice cracking when describing how his daughter must have felt.
Both of these videos are good examples that everyone has different ways of dealing with grief. Both these men experienced something horrific: their own children being killed by their mother. Yet they both have totally different reactions.